Thursday, 30 January 2014

almost to the day

Our first meeting with a social worker (in our home) should take place in a couple weeks. Almost two years to the date of our original application.

I am not really afraid of a home study. I am not ashamed of any part of my life. I am completely comfortable talking to anyone about anything.

It might be a good opportunity to donate at least two car loads full of clothes that don't even fit anymore. It might also be a good time to clean out some of the cupboards where band-aid boxes and hair gel bottles get stuffed into the darkness so I don't have to see them out on the bathroom counter.

Two years ago we felt excited and nervous. One year ago we felt frustrated.

Right now? Right now I feel a little tender. I feel like I need to re-read the attachment books. I feel like I need to get into this again because after two years of nothing at all, life goes on.

We will eventually complete a home study. Then we will start the waiting process all over again. Life will go on. In two years I will re-read the attachment books.

The thing is, no matter how long we wait, we will never, ever be prepared for what is to come. Some day we will bring new people home and I will feel the greatest joy, deepest sadness and like the most inadequate person in the world. On that day the wait will have been,  all at once too long and too short.

Wednesday, 29 January 2014

spoke too soon

I did a little poking and prodding today, emailing social workers and whatnot.
When we got home this evening, a new social worker (number 5?) had left a message on our answering machine. She wants to discuss the first steps of our home study. Adam cried. I hugged him.
One step closer.

Since 2012

My advice? If you think you want to adopt "some day" get your application in yesterday.


We decided to start this journey in February of 2012. We are now coming up on February 2014. We still haven't started a homestudy. We have been moved around between 3 different social workers. We will be meeting a fourth (hopefully) soon.

Paper work has been misplaced at the office or by the postal system or left too long by us because we had research to do. Social workers have had files that were more important than ours. Social workers have gone on stress leave. Social workers have gone on extended personal leave. We're not adopting teens or children with severe special needs so our file gets pushed down the list every time someone willing to take on those kids sends in an application.

Our file is now being moved from the government office to a private adoption agency (contracted by the government). They were supposed to receive our file a month ago so they could start our homestudy. We haven't heard from them and when I asked, they couldn't find our name in their system. So back to contacting the government office to make sure the information actually made it to the agency. I will remind you, we're not trying to adopt from another country or even another province. It's just that this system is completely overburdened and a little broken.

So if you're the praying type, please pray for those who work to care for children. Pray for new adoptive parents. Pray for foster parents. Pray for the birth parents. Pray for the government to put resources into a system that may not seem lucrative in the short term but will have an immeasurable affect on lives in the long term. If you're not the praying type, send your happy vibes and good wishes. This whole mess needs a little infusion of love and positivity.